The Longest Night of My Life

Weeping may last for the night. Some days it feels like the longest night of my life. I miss my children today—the ones I haven’t met yet. I’d hoped these days would look different, that they would include a chubby set of twins, their eyes following the zigzag patterns run by their older siblings. I’ve…

What Do Scary Things Do?

“I’m afraid of spiders.”

My almost four-year-old eyed me and then quickly redirected his gaze to his toys. His tone was apologetic.

Every Heart Wants the Story

He had to use both arms and tilt his body sideways to support its weight, but you could spot the puffed out chest and unfettered pride from a mile away. A certain three-year-old had a brand new Bible. “This is God’s true Word, Ryleigh,” he told his baby sister. “Be gentle with it.” Ryleigh stuffed…

When God Says No

Have you ever prayed something so intensely, wanted something so badly, that it took over, that it completely consumed you? And God said no. It was a resounding no. A painfully firm and final no. A seemingly senseless, purposeless, and graceless no.

The Art of Left-handedness

A few weeks ago my husband and I were in our bathroom brushing our teeth before bed. “Why are you brushing your teeth left-handed?” my husband asked me. I glanced down and saw that, yes, my toothbrush was in my left hand. “Uhhh…” I paused, trying to think why I was doing this when I…

When #Love(Really)Wins

I love my son. And because I love him, I want him to feel loved. Accepted. Safe. I don’t want to do anything to push him away or make him feel alienated. As he grows up, I want him to be understood. Comfortable. Appreciated. Heard. I want him to have freedom to explore and learn…

The Intersection of Independence (Bottle-feeding is Emotional)

Ten weeks of 1-2 night feedings was starting to grate on me. Don’t get me wrong – I’ve been so blessed to have a kid who gets good long stretches of sleep. But waking up constantly at 2 or 3 every morning – well – we all know that two fragmented four hour sessions is…

Thoughts from a New Mom: When the Poop Overfloweth

It had been an incredibly long and endless day. So around 10 am, Ben and I decided to venture out of the house. I recoiled from the sunlight like an overrated vampire, and hauled Ben’s 10 lb self plus all his many accessories into the car. The kid was sleeping

Why Social Media has Ruined My Life

So I exaggerated – social media hasn’t ruined my life. And this isn’t a post lamenting the evils of social media. But it’s a thought that popped through my head today as I was attempting to spend a few moments with God.