I love my son.
And because I love him, I want him to feel loved. Accepted. Safe.
I don’t want to do anything to push him away or make him feel alienated.
As he grows up, I want him to be understood. Comfortable. Appreciated. Heard. I want him to have freedom to explore and learn and to do the things he loves.
The last thing I want is to infringe on his free will. I don’t want him to be limited. He may want to make some decisions that I don’t necessarily agree with, but because I love him, I’ll let him make those decisions. I want to be accepting of his lifestyle choices.
There are certain things I believe to be right and wrong. I believe in absolute truth, in moral laws that are designed to protect us.
But I love my son.
And I wouldn’t dare try and force him to live by my set of beliefs. So if I see him walking down a self-destructive path – if I see him disrespecting others and disrespecting my God – I won’t call him out. I won’t speak the truth to him. Because that might make him…
…uncomfortable.
Misunderstood.
Isolated.
And that would make me…
…intolerant.
Overbearing.
Unloving.
And I will be none of those things.
Because at the end of the day, who am I to tell someone what they should or should not do? What right would I ever have to hold my son accountable for his actions?
What could be more unloving than providing boundaries for my family? After all, real love has no boundaries. “Loving” is synonymous with “accepting” – so I cannot both love my son and at the same time disapprove of how he lives.
I hope I’ll never be so closed-minded as to teach my children that morality comes from some place other than their own heads.
Because that’s real love.
Right?
—
May we never cease speaking the truth in love just for the sake of being politically correct or tolerant. Only then will love really win.
“Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ, from whom the whole body, joined and held together by every joint with which it is equipped,when each part is working properly, makes the body grow so that it builds itself up in love.” Ephesians 4:15-16
Mary Holloman 