You Know You’re Pregnant When…

You Know You're Pregnant When

There is something about the sight of a pregnant woman that renders people senseless. It’s an oh-look-a-big-round-belly-let-me-shut-off-my-mental-filter-and-start-saying-things-I’d-never-say-around-a-non-pregnant-person kind of senseless. When we see someone who is obviously expecting, it’s like we can’t help ourselves—we have to speak up.

And who could blame us? The miracle of how a new life is formed, grown, and introduced into the world is so astonishing that it compels us to draw attention to it. Sometimes we do this gracefully. Other times? Not so much.

So for your enjoyment, here are 10 ways a woman can know for sure she’s pregnant. (And as a little bonus, you’ll see comments included in italics. These are the things pregnant women are thinking in response to each quip or action.)

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When I Grow Up to be a Daddy

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“I got you flowers, Mommy!” He spun in three circles and then did a forward roll off the couch. Some people express their excitement in mere words. Others need their whole bodies plus a three-foot radius. My son falls into the latter category.

“Look at the flowers! I got them for you! Me and Daddy did!” In a matter of seconds, he perched himself on the edge of the countertop and crouched not unlike a baboon inspecting a furry friend’s back for insects. He fingered the rose petals with a gentleness I didn’t think possible, thanks to the coaching I’m sure he received from his dad.

Benjamin shifted his attention back to me. “Because,” he said, seriousness in his voice, “guh-wuls need flowers.”

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The Loneliest Job: Hope for Every Mother

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The bloodcurdling scream pierced the tranquility of countless shoppers. I swallowed hard and began the painstaking trek towards the automatic doors, which seemed miles away. It mightn’t have taken me so long had I not had 32 pounds of boneless deadweight to pull behind me while also holding 20 pounds of oblivious enthusiasm in my other arm.

As I stumbled along, nearby shoppers offered a variety of responses: eye rolls, disapproving glares, averted eyes, and an occasional sympathetic I’m so glad I’m not you smile. I met each gaze with a weak grin. “Don’t worry,” I said to one bystander, “He’s going to be a GREAT leader someday.”

Read the rest at Greensboro Pregnancy Care Center’s blog by clicking here! I had the opportunity to write an article on the painful lessons of loneliness. Check it out!

Slippery Thighs & Sunday Lies

I had the opportunity to write once again for Just 18 Summers this past week. Check out an excerpt below and consider exploring Just18Summers.com and the great parenting resources you’ll find there!

Slathering vegetable oil onto my two-year-old’s leg while he screamed in perfect unison with my three-month-old wasn’t exactly how I’d envisioned the start of my Sunday morning.

This is the day the Lord has made, I recited in my head. I will rejoice once my kids stop screaming.

My Sunday morning fantasy goes as follows: I wake up gradually, body well-rested and heart ready to worship. My children are smiling and obedient, my outfit looks great, and no nursery workers call me out of the worship service to come get a screaming baby.

Believe it or not, vegetable oil and frantic children never appear in these fantasies of mine…

Check out the rest of this post at Just18Summers.com!

How to Stop Toddler Tantrums: a foolproof guide that always works some of the time

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If you’ve never been on the receiving end of a toddler tantrum, imagine that a small drunken person is screaming at you about illogical things like the injustice of having to drink out of a blue cup instead of a red one, or having to wear clothes when leaving the house or not being allowed to play with knives or climb inside the oven or maintain a diet of nothing but Teddy Grahams. Then imagine that every logical response you give that drunken person is reciprocated with tears, screaming, snot, and, my personal favorite, “going boneless” and writhing on the floor as one who is possessed.

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When God Says No

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Have you ever prayed something so intensely, wanted something so badly, that it took over, that it completely consumed you?

And God said no.

It was a resounding no. A painfully firm and final no.

A seemingly senseless, purposeless, and graceless no.

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