No Bodies to Bury: The Unspoken Pain of Early Pregnancy Loss

Does my grief even count if there are no bodies to bury? The crass thought swirled around my mind in the weeks that followed my pregnancy losses. I was unprepared for how much our losses would shred my heart. But I was even more unprepared for how much the world would minimize the deaths of…

The Longest Night of My Life

Weeping may last for the night. Some days it feels like the longest night of my life. I miss my children today—the ones I haven’t met yet. I’d hoped these days would look different, that they would include a chubby set of twins, their eyes following the zigzag patterns run by their older siblings. I’ve…

I Cried on New Year’s Eve: Grieving with Hope in 2020

I cried on New Year’s Eve.  We spent time with friends, blew noisemakers, and yelled “Happy New Year!” at 8 PM (because we knew there was no way we’d actually last until midnight). We laughed, talked about goals for the new year, and shared stories from 2019.  But earlier that day, when I was alone,…