I am three papers and one final exam away from graduation. I’ve spent the last couple of hours working on these papers and now have a pretty legitimate headache which may be partially induced by the aforementioned paper writing, but also probably has something to do with the ridiculous amounts of sweet tea I’ve been drinking.
My contacts are getting dry and I’m doing that awkward blinking-eye-twitching thing in an effort to keep them from popping right out of my eyes. I’m sprawled out on the floor in my living room in sweatpants and a hoodie, my hood pulled up over my head – not really sure why. Makes me feel more intense I think.
While I would really like to be asleep right now, I won’t lie….there’s something irrationally fun/exciting/invigorating about staying up ridiculous hours writing papers and cramming information into my head that will no doubt be forgotten the moment I turn in my exam paper (wow that’s depressing…).
But anyways, all that to say I thought I’d take a blogging break because it has come to my attention that I am the world’s most inconsistent blogger and I should probably fix that at some point.
This year is coming to a close, so naturally a bit of reminiscing is necessary. I’ve been doing quite a bit of it lately, mainly because so many major changes are coming up in my life. All within a few months I’m graduating college, moving, looking for full time work, and getting married – woah! I’d be lying if I said I haven’t been stressed or had a few freakout/panic/irrationalbreakdown moments. But there are a few reverberating truths that have surfaced again and again in the midst of all the change and all the reminiscing –
God is faithful. He is my strength. He is my refuge. He is my healer. He is my anchor.
He gives me forgiveness, peace, hope, motivation.
He is my Provider. And He has provided my greatest and deepest need, His son Jesus Christ.
I am not worthy. I will never be good enough, strong enough, smart enough, holy enough. I will never work hard enough, love enough, or trust enough. There is nothing in and of myself capable of earning God’s favor or love.
I was His enemy, I am deserving of His wrath. I have pushed Him away again and again, creating a barrier between myself and a holy God.
And God, being loving but also holy and just, sent Jesus Christ to absorb His own wrath – the wrath that I deserved. And because Christ gave His life willingly, being without sin, not deserving death – because He paid the price of my sin –
I have life.
And when God looks at me, He sees no sin.
He sees the righteousness of Christ.
I am justified. And I am changed.
There isn’t much in this life that is certain. Every thing, every person will fail us at some point.
Praise God that His love never fails.
“You are my Lord – apart from You I have no good thing.”
Challenge – think about this past year and how God has provided for you. Think about how God has provided your greatest need. Allow yourself to be humbled and in awe by the truth of His love.