I had such a fun time touching base with other moms this week and asking them, “What are some of the weirdest things you’ve said or done as a parent that you never would have done before kids?”
The answers are hysterical, because I know they’re all 100% true! Check out these 20 “You know you’re a parent when…” statements. And be sure to comment with your own hilarious experiences, too!
You Know You’re a Parent When…
- You instinctively hide your snacks between bites because you’re so used to tiny vultures trying to steal them.
- You use words like “potty” and “pee pee” when there are no kids around.
- Your newborn throws up all over your bed at 2am, so you lay a towel over it and go back to sleep because sleep is EVERYTHING.
- You utilize the gym childcare to meet your friend and drink coffee for an hour instead of actually working out.
- You feel the need to call your mom weekly to apologize for your personal behavior as a child.
- You find yourself in a situation where you ask yourself the question, “Is this poop or chocolate?”
- You forget one ingredient at the grocery store and contemplate if making dinner is worth taking the kids out again. And then quickly decide to order pizza.
- Every surface in your house is either sticky or gritty or both.
- You wear noise cancelling headphones while cooking dinner so you don’t have to hear “Mama, Mommy, Ma, Mother, Mommy…”
- You wear blue jeans and mascara and your husband asks, “Where are you going all dressed up??”
- You haven’t showered since Sunday and you’re not exactly sure which Sunday.
- You and your husband discuss poop textures on a date night.
- You can’t comprehend why someone would plan a family event after 7pm.
- You’re way too invested in Peppa Pig’s shenanigans.
- You feel various food items squish between your toes on your kitchen floor and just keep walking because you don’t care anymore.
- You take the scenic route in the car just to keep the kids contained a little longer.
- “Sleeping in” means sleeping past 7 am and still waking up with a child’s foot in your face.
- A successful day is if you and all the kids are dressed by 9 am. It doesn’t matter what happens after that. The day is already a success.
- You haven’t slept through the night in at least 4 years.
- Your heart is full of more love and joy than you ever knew possible.
Parenting may be one of the weirdest and most frustrating experiences you can have—but it’s also, without question, one of the most joy-filled and rewarding. Comment and share your own experiences, I’d love to hear from you!
*Special shout outs to these all-star moms who contributed their experiences: Priscilla Martin, Katelyn Lust, Meredith Weber, and Laura Thacker.
(This post originally appeared at gsocarecenter.org/blog.)
Mary Holloman 