You Know You’re Pregnant When…

You Know You're Pregnant When

There is something about the sight of a pregnant woman that renders people senseless. It’s an oh-look-a-big-round-belly-let-me-shut-off-my-mental-filter-and-start-saying-things-I’d-never-say-around-a-non-pregnant-person kind of senseless. When we see someone who is obviously expecting, it’s like we can’t help ourselves—we have to speak up.

And who could blame us? The miracle of how a new life is formed, grown, and introduced into the world is so astonishing that it compels us to draw attention to it. Sometimes we do this gracefully. Other times? Not so much.

So for your enjoyment, here are 10 ways a woman can know for sure she’s pregnant. (And as a little bonus, you’ll see comments included in italics. These are the things pregnant women are thinking in response to each quip or action.)

You Know You’re Pregnant When…

People ask to touch your belly.
Why do you want to touch my belly, complete stranger? Why??

People don’t ask to touch your belly but touch it anyway.
So after work, I need to run by the store, and then—what the—who ARE you and WHY are you touching my belly??

People say things like, “Wow, you’re huge.”
Thank you, you’re looking quite rotund yourself.

People encourage you to be a glutton.
I’m eating for someone the size of a banana, not a 180-lb bearded lumberjack, alright?

People guilt you when you are a glutton.
Don’t judge me, I’m eating for two. *Stuffs cake in mouth.*

When people see you, they immediately launch into detailed stories about a friend’s cousin’s sister who had a horrible labor and delivery.
I hate you right now.

People ask if you got pregnant on purpose.
Are you being rude and intrusive on purpose?

People tell you they KNOW you’re having a boy because of how low you’re carrying, the fact that it’s a full moon, and because your skin is oily.
It must be wonderful to be omniscient.

People tell you they KNOW you’re having a girl because of how low you’re carrying, the fact that it’s a full moon, and because your skin is oily.
It must be wonderful to be omniscient.

People look you up and down and comment on which parts of your body have changed the most.
Wow, you made me feel uncomfortable, self-conscious, and insecure all at the same time. Kudos.

Pregnancy Changes Everything

For every awkward or rude thing someone has said or done during my pregnancies, there have been equal amounts of kind and thoughtful gestures from perfect strangers—and every kind act always meant the world to me.

Pregnancy—planned or unplanned—changes everything. And chances are, the mother you see with the round belly has much more pressing things on her mind and heart than everyone else’s opinion on her physical appearance.

So if you see a pregnant lady and just can’t keep yourself from speaking up, go ahead and bypass any comments about her size or hormones and just let her know that she looks awesome—I guarantee you’ll make her day.

 

This article originally appeared on Greensboro Pregnancy Care Center’s Blog.

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